In Four Days, My Life Will Never Be The Same


Storm Clouds by tww, on Pix-O-Sphere

In exactly four days, my daughter is moving out. She is moving four states away to continue her college education. Let me clarify: she is moving out and taking all her belongings with her. Furniture—check. Clothing—check. My heart—-check.

B will be living on her own with her boyfriend {future fiance}, off campus. Did I mention that she will be four states away? Ugh. I knew this day would come sooner or later. She is almost 20 and certainly old enough to live independently. I just never expected the day to come so soon.

There are many parents that are ecstatic when their kids move out. There are also many parents that feel they lose their identity when their kids leave home. I am somewhere in the middle. I don’t feel like I’m losing my identity but I do feel like I’m losing a part of me. Heck, she’s my kid so of course she’s a part of me. I know that’s it time for her to go and I am happy she has enough courage to make this huge transition in her life. I know it will be an adjustment for both of us.

Here is a list of things I will miss most:

  1. Our daily face to face chats. Sure, there’s Face time, but it’s not the same.
  2. Your hugs.
  3. Our adventurous outings.
  4. Your kindness towards me when I’m not feeling well.
  5. Your random, unpredictable jokes.
  6. Listening to you chat on the phone with your friends. Your conversations are always full of such excitement.
  7. Listening to you baby talk to your cat.
  8. You asking “what’s for dinner?”
  9. You asking me for the hundredth time “does my hair look alright?”
  10. Hearing you yell “Mom” for the zillionth time in a day.
  11. No longer being #1 in your life. I know *insert boyfriend’s name here* aka future husband will soon become #1.

And yes, when I meet your boyfriend on Thursday, rest assured that I will be breaking out the embarrassing baby pictures. I am passing on a precious gift to him and I want to be sure he knows it.


  • Reply
    Suzanne Deleon
    May 14, 2012 at 10:41 pm

    I went through the same situation a few years ago! My daughter married a military man and they moved to Boise, Idaho! I was devastated! It is human nature to be resistant to change. And I had to look at things this way in order to survive this separation. Through a lot of praying, I realized she was given to me as a gift, and I was to teach her the best of me and what I knew to be good and wholesome. They will always be our babies, no matter how old they get! My daughter is now 30 years old and she has become the most wonderful mother and confident woman! I have celebrated her successes and cried with her when things did not go as planned! But, in letting go(not completely of course), I have watched her spread her wings and soar as a beautiful woman! She still calls and asks for my advice, and sometimes just to shoot the breeze(I call it her Mommy fix)! Be proud of yourself as a mother! Your daughter is going to college, and confident to go off on her own. That is because of your love and nurturing! Now, hopefully the boyfriend will be good son material! We never know what we are getting in that department. We just have to trust our children in their choices and sometimes let them make mistakes, so they can grow! You have so much to look forward to in this new chapter of your life and your daughters! It’s not over, just different! And one day she will be bringing home to you, beautiful grandchildren to adore! Good Luck and Hang in there! <3

    • Reply
      May 14, 2012 at 11:18 pm

      Suzanne–Your comments are so inspiring and appreciated right now. Letting go is sooo hard but something we must do. Your daughter sounds like a wonderful woman and I’m certain that is because of how she was raised <3 The terms "Son in law" and "grandchildren" scare me right now but I will welcome both when they happen. You're right, it's not over, just different and I'm finally starting to realize that 🙂

  • Reply
    Kristine Williams
    May 7, 2012 at 8:23 pm

    I know exactly how you feel, except it’s my son that just moved out and he is 23. Yes
    I still have my 7 year old daughter to raise, but A is my only son, and my oldest daughter of the 3, (she’s 25) moved out with her boyfriend at a time when we were very crowded and I was too busy working to be sad. Of course I miss her too, but we talk often. A’s move leaves me with only my 2nd husband and my 7 year old, you may not understand, but letting go of that last bit of my first family is hard. I seriously feel like, “Don’t leave me with these people!”Let’s both consider ourselves lucky that they were amicable splits and we still can keep in touch. I had to run away from my mom at 11 years old due to horrible abuse only to be placed with my dad for more abuse by my stepmother before she divorced him, then the minute I graduated h.s.and got a steady boyfriend, dad kicked me out to live with my boyfriend, we were married 17 years and father of my 2 oldest. It is our duty as mothers to keep that fine line of attachment to our grown children in case they need help, but not to intrude on their adult lives. You will grow to miss her less, but never to love her less, and as your own rite of passage you have to adjust to not being the mother on duty at your house. Having never lived alone, I may never know what that is like, I am 46 years old. Thank you for listening!

    • Reply
      May 8, 2012 at 9:24 pm

      Sounds like you had a really rough childhood Kristine. I hope you have someone to talk to! I’m a huge advocate for counseling 🙂 You are right about one thing—-mom is off duty at home. It will be weird. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I appreciate it. Comments are ALWAYS welcome! Hugs!

  • Reply
    May 7, 2012 at 8:12 pm

    At least you are getting to see her do these things I will never be able to see as the Lord called my daughter home when she was 16. I do have a son I Love very much but it is not the same as a mother and daughter because all the things you mentioned would be the things I would miss as well.

    • Reply
      May 8, 2012 at 9:27 pm

      Your comment has deeply touched me and I am so honored that you have shared this with me. I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child. I know that nothing I say will ease that pain but do know that your daughter is in amazing hands with the Lord. You are absolutely correct, mothers and daughters have a special type of bond. Thank you so much for reminding me how blessed I am to have my daughter here with me. Wishing you strength and peace <3

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